Traducteur provocateur: The specialist
by Helena Stamatovic
Provoking is what he does best, arguing is his weapon of choice: Welcome to the outrageous world of the Traducteur provocateur. Today: "The specialist".
TP: "Hey customer."
C: "Hi translator. How are you?"
TP: "Fine, thanks. Yourself?"
C: "Lots to do. How can I help?"
TP: "I have a little problem here. I can’t translate the text you sent me yesterday."
C: "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"
TP: "It’s a contract."
C: "Yeah, and?"
TP: (sighs) "I don’t translate contracts. As you know, I’m a technical translator."
C: "I don’t understand. You translate into English, don’t you?"
TP: "Yes ...?"
C: "So what’s the problem?"
TP: "Here’s a question for you: Who wrote this contract?"
C: "The Legal Department, I think.»
TP: "Okay. And would you be able to write such a text?"
C: "Are you kidding? I’m not a lawyer!"
TP: "And I’m not a legal translator."
C: "Okay. I understand your point. What are you proposing?"
TP: "That you go to a specialist."
C: "Okay. And where can I find one? Google?"
TP: "I can recommend a colleague to you. He is excellent. Maybe a bit more expensive than me..."
C: "How much more expensive…?"
TP: "Maybe 30 to 40 percent. He’s a translator AND a lawyer, you know."
C: "Aha." (thinks) "Well, there’s no way we can afford that. It’s supposed to be only a translation, not a scientific treatise. I’ll ask the other translator, I’m sure he’ll do it."
TP: "Seriously, customer, do you really want to take that risk?"
C: "What risk?"
TP: "Well, that somebody works on this who translates complete nonsense! That could cost you even more..."
C: "Possible. But what do you care?"
TP: (sighs) "You’re right, it’s your company. Well then, good luck!"
C: "Wait! Can I send you the finished translation for proofreading? Just to make sure everything is correct."
TP: (says nothing and hangs up)